You know the hardest thing in life is to confront your own bias, your own preset aberrations, your so called consideration of expected performance ,
When you can have the ability to exhibit a graciousness of allowing another to be who they are instead of demanding they meet certain expectations, you most usually can experience a closer connection to that person . It is like gender bias , racial bias, this can be called beingness bias. You do not think they should be who or how they are. We are all looking for the answers to happiness and success. Others find it faster than others, others claim they are close, yet you wonder how that could be when it seems to you, they look so loss. You seem to know the answers that they cannot see. And they may never see, what you see when you demand it from them. For they have to defend their rightness. So they will be steadfast and possibly hold on to what is wrong or in reality, what they see as truly right, the best you can do is inspire, and even acknowledge what they see as right.Only then can you gently present something that may have a little more truth in it .When you can do this you operate more at cause rather than effect. It is a great ability when one can do this. I cannot say I have mastered this. Most obvious is that in a work environment you must come up to preset standards but as a human being it is an individual thing, that in most cases should be respected. Most difficult is when they are close to you.